


biscuits (a little puppy spin-off).

by rvmmm21



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Hybrid AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24734536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rvmmm21/pseuds/rvmmm21
Summary: life after seungwan comes home. see what seungwan gets up to and how every one else deals with it.[hybrid!seungwan x vampire!joohyun][vampire!seuljoyri]
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy, WenRene
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	1. pointers.

_**hello there, welcome to a collection of wenrene (with a side of red velvet) shorts. domestic, fluffy, all that jazz.**_

_**just a few quick pointers (as you can tell, i can't do headcanons very well):** _

  * _a mummy joohyun, baby wannie kinda series._
  * _wannie is a jindo puppy hybrid. coffee-brown (ears and tail), soft and cuddly._
  * _wannie is also a very clever girl, and she's learning quite a few 'tricks'. tricks that moreso work in her favour, rather than joohyun's, obviously._
  * _she's slightly smaller than real rv seungwan._
  * _she's in puppyhood, relative to the maturity of a 5/6 year old human child._
  * _she doesn't speak much, but when she does, it's usually to apologise for something naughty or to tell her mummy how much she loves her._
  * _joohyun is a gorgeous vampire, need i say more?_
  * _joohyun has stupid vampire strength because i yoinked that super strength trait from twilight (despite not having watched any movie all the way through)._
  * _the rest of rv members are also vampires, lol._
  * _wannie's ear is scarred from almost being eaten by werewolves, and she also has a shortened tail with a kink at the end of it because of said werewolves. (it's kind of a long story, but basically joohyun saved wan from being eaten)._
  * _joohyun is over beating herself up for all seungwan had to go through, but that doesn't mean she's letting her guard down. hurt wannie and you'll wish you were dead._
  * _joohyun loves wannie, and wannie loves her right back._



_**based off 'come here, little puppy', which was what inspired this... whatever this is.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few of you requested this, so here i am, in all my store-brand santa glory, providing you with subpar redvelvet fluff. my whole c.h.l.p. story was unprompted to begin with, so i'm used to sort of thinking up things on my own, as sad as that sounds.  
> i'm trying to compress my writing here, because i have the tendency to overwrite sometimes, so i'm working on that.  
> anyways, hope you enjoy!


	2. playing dead.

um, cute. >:(

...

The day began with Joohyun discovering a small, frayed hole in Seungwan’s pillowcase. And then in hers, and then in just about every fabric she had laying around. Swiftly stripping the pillow, the exasperated vampiress strode out to track down the little criminal, gently kicking away chew toys and raw hide, untouched as the day they’d been bought.  
  


“Seung – Wan.”  
  


She didn’t raise her voice. She didn’t have to. Those two syllables alone were enough to get her point across.  
  


Seungwan was to come to her name, and she was to do it, now.  
  


Little squeaks were coming from behind the sofa.  
  


Oh gosh, Seungwan _cringed_ at that double emphasis of doom. If only those paws could dig through concrete, she’d be tunnelling her way to Seulgi’s house by now. Seulgi wouldn’t mind holes in her sofa… she’d love them, probably!  
  


Unlike mummy… so fussy.  
  


She had to think fast, she could already hear Joohyun pretending not to know where she was.  
  


Okay, options? Dash, or play dead. Hm, the first one, however tempting, she knew from her own bible of failed attempts that Joohyun was just going to add another goddamned page to it. The latter, far more suitable, Seungwan thought. She was a little actress and although Joohyun was somehow able to see right through that insane talent every time, she took it as constructive criticism. Joohyun became her sort of Ebert, and she just took it upon herself to do better for next time. Perhaps she’d put on such a good show that Joohyun, completely mind blown, would forget to be mad at her altogether.  
  


Plus… ‘dead’ puppies don’t get time-outs, do they? Puppies trying to outrun their mummies wrath for their annoying teething habits very much do, however.  
  


And Seungwan’d be damned if she let that happen the fifth time this week.  
  


So all in all, dash? Get caught. Play dead? Most probably get caught.  
  


She’d take whatever chance she could get, please and thank you.  
  


So when a very suspecting Joohyun, only having to follow the trail of mildly destroyed surfaces, rounded the noticeably frayed corner of the sofa, she had to swallow a laugh. From screwed shut eyes, to tongue pointedly sticking out the corner of her mouth… and of course limbs splayed out haphazardly, Joohyun was looking at the dictionary definition of dead. Save for the nervous, laboured panting, Seungwan was dead, and only a _monster_ could still be angry after that.  
  


A resigned sigh and head shake later, the vampiress was crouched down beside her poor, unfortunate puppy.  
  


“Oh no, Wannie-ahhhh…” she drew out the pet name, sounding extra teary, “mummy’s too upset to be mad anymore… if only there was a way to bring you back, I’d never punish you again.”  
  


She rolled her eyes when Seungwan’s lip curled upwards in an almost unnoticeable smile. She’d taken the bait and Joohyun was prodding on.  
  


“Mhm, no more time-outs for Seungwannie and extra treats before bedtime.”  
  


Joohyun’s attention snapped down to the slightest friction on her foot, caused by a quivering little tail, clearly excited at the whole ‘extra treats before bed’ proposal. Gosh, Seungwan really did have the sorriest sense of self-control. It was adorable. As adorable as she was gullible.  
  


“Oh?” she exclaimed, already snaking a hand up under Seungwan’s fleecy jumper, “what’s this? Dead puppies can’t wag their tails!”  
  


Fingers began lightly spidering all over Seungwan’s tummy, tickling her back to life. Tiny, broken whimpers escaped her and her leg involuntarily started twitching at the increasingly overwhelming sensation, but she still worked hard as ever to keep up the façade.  
  


“Oh my gosh, Wannie! Is it working? Are you alive?”  
  


Light tickles turned into gentle, albeit relentless belly scritches, Joohyun knowing exactly which spots to hit.  
  


And there it happened; Seungwan, the ever brilliant actress, broke character, eyes shooting open and desperately trying to pry Joohyun’s hands away from her, giggling the entire time. But Joohyun was having none of that. She wouldn’t stop until she was sure her pup was alive and kicking, literally; it was the least she could do. This was a lot more fun than time-out, even Joohyun had to admit.  
  


She had Seungwan fully relaxed in no time, leg twitching helplessly under her as she gave in, fingers now curled around Joohyun’s wrist in attempt to keep it there while she simmered in the delightful feeling.  
  


But she wasn’t out of the woods just yet, and Joohyun pulled away softly, causing an uncomfortable shift as Seungwan recognised all too well what was being dangled in front of her.  
  


“Seungwan…”  
  


Her tone was firm, scolding.  
  


Realising there was nowhere left to go from here, Seungwan gingerly peered forward, taking sorry little sniffs at her handiwork, before glancing back up at Joohyun, eyes watery and full of remorse.  
  


Joohyun had an eyebrow cocked, waiting for the appropriate response.  
  


Seungwan meekly ducked her head, chocolate ears deflating.  
  


“Wah… Wannie sowi mummy… woh-won’t do gain…”  
  


Joohyun’s gaze softened. How could she stay mad at that? She pursed her lips and looked at the material bunched in her fist, then at the little girl staring hard at the floor.  
  


“Come, Wannie,” she sat cross-legged, patting her lap, “it’s okay.”  
  


An ear perked up at the affection in that voice.  
  


Seungwan nuzzled up into Joohyun’s font, nose pressed against her collarbone as she breathed in her scent. Her eyes fluttered closed when she felt the pad of a thumb stroke soft lines down her ear, feeling tingly and warm again. As ‘angry’ as Joohyun had been, she knew it wasn’t Seungwan’s fault (to a certain extent). She was fully responsible when it came to Joohyun having to cover the cost of all the damage, but the little puppy was teething and all she wanted to do was relieve the constant burn in her gums. Joohyun quite frankly couldn’t wait for the time when she wouldn’t be nipped at during random hours of the day, as tolerant as she was.  
  


But when she tried to adjust her grip on Seungwan, she lifted an arm up, only to see a very familiar set of gnashers come with, buried into the hem of her sleeve, a pair of happy, utterly blameless eyes looking up into her own.  
  


“Seungwan-ah.”


	3. Pippin.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seungwan gets first day nerves, but she has help.

**um, CUTE. >:((**

**...**

Home-schooling came and went like the breeze on an autumn evening. It was bittersweet; Joohyun would definitely miss teaching her pup how to count her dino biscuits before she ate them (although to varying degrees of success), what they called the colours of the sun and the moon, and that it was pronounced ‘blu’, not ‘blu-ie’, regardless of the ‘e’ at the end (a particularly difficult concept for Seungwan to grasp). But Seungwan was now at an age where hybrid school was the next logical step, and Joohyun, ever the diligent vampire mum, had signed her up almost immediately.  
  


As much as she wanted Seungwan all to herself, she knew it was in the girl’s best interests to have her socialise with children and hybrids of her own age. Simply to ensure she had a well-rounded development.  
  


Poor Seungwan, on the other hand, had no idea why her mummy would want to essentially abandon her for five hours every weekday. She’d rather have brussel sprouts as her choice of vegetable for the rest of her life if it meant not having to deal with being huddled in a room with an ingratitude of intolerable little hybrids and a teacher that wasn’t Joohyun.  
  


Hybrid school was awful, Seungwan had made up her mind.  
  


So that entire morning was a silent, weepy protest between Seungwan not wanting to budge an inch out of bed, and a flustered Joohyun juggling getting her lunch packed and sorting out everything else. She stopped when she saw the mopey girl, moments from turning the bedroom floor into a wading pool.  
  


Joohyun sighed, knowing where this was going. If she couldn’t be there to comfort her then someone was going to have to be. She gave her tongue a knowing click when she settled on the perfect solution.  
  


She knelt down at the edge of the bed, placing her hands on Seungwan’s trembling thighs, soothing her nerves.  
  


Delicately brushing a thumb over pinkish, cotton-ball cheeks, Joohyun gently shushed her sobbing pup. Seungwan eventually cracked a peek down into her lap where Joohyun was holding a very familiar friend.  
  


“Does Wannie need Pip to go with?”  
  


Without the slightest hesitation, Seungwan gave a tearful nod against her own chest, unable to lift her head.  
  


Pippin; a cream-coloured stuffed mouse, about as big as a handful of beans. He was a tad smudged, a little thread-bare on the right ear and missing a button eye, but that was all testament to how well loved he was.  
  


Joohyun hadn’t really thought too much about gifting Seungwan the handmade cuddly. She only vaguely remembered cutting the textile and sewing it up, sealing it with her scent. It was an instant hit, though, Seungwan's favourite little stuffie, accompanying her through indescribably testing times, like when she was left in the living room and Joohyun was miles away cooking in the kitchen. He was Seungwan's de-stresser, comforter and stand-in Joohyun all at once.  
  


… …  
  


Joohyun stood right behind the fence, holding her thick scarf over her face so Seungwan wouldn’t see how her lip trembled. The first day of school hadn’t even begun and already Joohyun was a flurry of emotion. God, she’d recently started wondering if she’d have to revoke her vampire card if she ever got caught like this. She didn't move until Seungwan was well out of sight.  
  


Bright yellow backpack and jumper to match, Seungwan gave Joohyun one last wave before plodding alongside the other hybrid children, little Pippin silently cheering her on from the safety of her coat pocket.  
  


The kids were all over the place; climbing on chairs, chasing each other around while a little white-tailed deer boy pressed himself into the corner and bawled his eyes out. Seungwan sat, quietly taking it all in, making her mind up on how she felt about all this foreign liveliness. Everyone’s attention was drawn to the towering male figure who entered the room. Mr. Henry, as he’d introduced himself to a class of wide-eyed students, was soft-spoken and quite fatherly in mannerism. A gentle giant, so to speak. His warmth simmered the tension, and Seungwan visibly relaxed.  
  


“Alright then, now you all know me, how about we all get to know each other?”  
  


Mr. Henry’s 1000-watt smile was infectious, making everyone smile along with him.  
  


It was decided they’d take turns introducing themselves anti-clockwise, just to mix things up a bit. “Let’s start from the back,” he said, gesturing to the little boy who Seungwan had seen crying earlier on, bloodshot-eyes and drying tear stains down pillowy cheeks. He stood on wax knees, shakily scanning his new classmates and twiddling anxious fingers into the seam of his denim dungarees. The boy had a bowl-cut of thick, blazing auburn and eyes the colour of the deep blue sea. Not at all deer-like. In fact, had she not noticed his tear-drop, speckled tail, Seungwan would’ve assumed he was a puppy.  
  


And he had the voice to go with it, too.  
  


“Ju-Jung… woo…” he gulped, all nasal and shy.  
  


The few words of encouragement from Mr. Henry snipped his puppet strings, and Jungwoo slumped down again, all too relieved, chin resting on the table top.  
  


Seungwan wasn’t even aware of how focused she was, how well she was observing and listening to each name and face, until –  
  


Seungwan blinked when she felt the class hush, glancing around to see all eyes on her. She swivelled back round to face Mr. Henry, who was nodding at her, signalling it was indeed her turn. Feeling much braver than she had thought she’d be, she stood up a little too quickly. The legs of the chair were abrasive against the rippled floorboards, shattering the stillness and making her wince.  
  


Not the best start.  
  


But everyone was waiting.  
  


“S-Seung… Seung…”  
  


The rest of her name was jammed in her throat, every attempt at forcing it out choked her, scrubbed her raw with fear. She just stood there, furrowed brows and pencil-line lipped, desperately subduing her nerves so she could speak again.  
  


Sensing the obvious discomfort, her teacher kindly offered to carry on and to get back to her at the end or whenever she felt ready.  
  


“N-no…” Seungwan answered. She could do this; she was determined to.  
  


Clumsily digging into her right pocket, she gave Pippin a squeeze for courage.  
  


… …  
  


The day couldn’t have ended sooner for Seungwan.  
  


Joohyun standing at the fence, open-armed, was like a beacon of light sent from the heavens themselves. She rushed towards her, overjoyed. As soon as she was on the other side of the fence, she found herself scooped up and held into Joohyun’s chest. And the vampiress couldn’t stop letting Seungwan know how missed she was.  
  


“Wannie!” her voice muffled into Seungwan’s puffer coat as the girl melted into her embrace, “Are you happy to see me? Mummy missed you so much, you know?”  
  


Her only reply was those happy crescent moon eyes and a tiny sneeze from the winter cold, prompting Joohyun to pull her scarf off herself and wrap it round the shivery puppy.  
  


… …  
  


“Did Pip have a fun day too, baby?”  
  


Trust Joohyun not to forget Seungwan had gone to school with her soft toy.  
  


“Yis mummy! Pippie helped Wannie make friends,” Seungwan’s enthusiasm rung gladly, and Joohyun was consoled, knowing she'd successfully leapt her first hurdle.  
  


Joohyun listened, fully immersed into Seungwan recount her roller-coaster of a day. She clutched him the entire time.  
  


_The_ Pippin; Like Joohyun, his home was wherever Seungwan was, be that nestled into the duvet with her, carried around in her palm, or wordlessly congratulating her when she finally finished that drawing she’d been working so hard on. Seungwan’s best buddy; sole protector against the scary outside world and evil forces lurking in the night time… second to Joohyun, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what. can't believe i've essentially dedicated 1000+ words to a freakin stuffed mouse.


	4. overdose.

It was quiet in the house.   
  


A little… _too_ quiet.   
  


Well, too quiet for Joohyun’s liking, anyway. Because a silent house could only mean one of very few things:   
  


  1. Seungwan’s eaten all the biscuits and is now tip-toeing around the house looking for an oh so conspicuous place to hide the tin.  
  

  2. There’s a live bomb about to go off and Seungwan’s silently saving them all by cuddling it to diffusion.  
  

  3. Seungwan’s eaten all the bisc… oh right, okay.  
  




Yeah scrap the list.   
  


Either the biscuit tin was empty, or New York City’s bomb squad needed a conference call with Seungwan, pronto. And something about the muffled shuffling in the distance told her it wasn’t the latter. She was adorable, but she was also trouble.   
  


_ In _ trouble, too… not necessarily _only_ with her mummy.   
  


“WANNIE-AH!” the vampiress yelled through palms cupped over her mouth as she beelined to the kitchen.   
  


Of course, there she was in her dedicated spot trying to shove a suspicious looking something behind the recycling bin. Caught; wide-eyed and red-hot handed. Coffee-coloured ears drew back flat against her head and the girl just froze, biscuit tin in hand and everything.   
  


_ Mummy can’t see me… can she? _   
  


“Yes, Wannie,” Joohyun scolded, rolling her eyes. Seungwan’s body language screamed her thoughts for her, “mummy can see you very well. Up, now.”   
  


A meek little puppy very slowly shifted away from the scene of the crime and was now fidgeting uncomfortably at the cuffs of her jumper sleeves as she tried not to flinch under her mummy’s very scary gaze.   
  


“Wan.”   
  


Joohyun was met with two ‘innocent’, brown eyes, brimming with remorse.   
  


“Yis, mummy?”   
  


_ No,  _ the vampiress stopped herself from caving in and scooping Seungwan up to kiss her, _she’s been naughty. Remember that. No head kisses till she’s learned._   
  


“What did you do.”   
  


A tiny whimper.   
  


“Wannie…” the girl paused for a sniffle, eyes fixed on the floor, “… ate dino biscuit…”   
  


_ Pft, biscuit? Oh boy, Wannie, do we need to work on your plurals or what. _   
  


“And did mummy say you could have any?”   
  


The smallest head shake. Unimpressed, vampiric silence had Seungwan tense, and she knew what she had to do.   
  


“Mm sowwi mummy, Wannie juh-”   
  


Joohyun’s lesson of the day was that ‘too much of a good thing, isn’t always good’, but it seemed like Seungwan was about to be neck-deep in first-hand experience.   
  


Her eyes bulged almost comically, frightened and glassy, when she was suddenly stopped mid-apology. She gave a little whine and clutched at her stomach and covered her mouth at the same time. The twenty buttery baked goods she had consumed in under five minutes were wreaking havoc on her poor digestive system, taking their revenge for being so thoughtlessly gobbled down, for sure. Being stern was tossed out the window, and a panicked Joohyun was lunging towards the girl and picking her up from under her arms, chanting ‘oh my god Seungwan you better not’ and ‘hold it till we get there’ all the way to the bathroom.   
  


Joohyun found herself shaking her head as rubbed the back of the girl who was heaving the repercussions of her poor choices right into the toilet bowl, using her knee as a stool. The vampiress cooed despite it all, reaching down to soothe the stiff tail.   
  


_ Aigo, what are we going to do with you, puppy? _   
  


After a good puke and a half, Seungwan was finally rid of the pain and discomfort from wolfing down twice the amount of butter that was good for her. The vampiress just couldn’t find it in her to continue where she left off, the sight of her sorry little Wannie tugging at her like it always did. She pressed the puppy closer, missing the way Seungwan’s eyes lit up at the first inkling of forgiveness.   
  


“Shh, it’s okay baby,” she gave Seungwan’s back a few reassuring pats as she wetly sniffled into her neck, shivering in distress, “mummy’s got you. It’s okay.”   
  


Joohyun got her cleaned up and changed, tucking her into bed for a quick nap to sleep off the trauma. Seungwan clutched at the fluffy comforter and yawned widely, granting Joohyun a good look at her healthily growing chompers.   
  


After failing to locate the special someone Seungwan never slept without, the vampiress reached down just under the bed, feeling around as Seungwan watched her, hopeful. She finally curled her fingers around a little mouse shaped cuddly, knowing her puppy had probably kicked him off the bed during one of her ‘running’ dreams.   
  


Seungwan beamed when she saw Pippin, almost snatching him away upon seeing his singular black button eye. But she remained patient, a good girl, waiting for him to be tucked in with her with happily twitching ears.   
  


As soon as Pippin was snugly fitted in next to her, she gave him a little sniff before glancing back up at Joohyun, determined to make amends for her earlier wrongdoing.   
  


“Sowwi that Wannie ate all…”   
  


She seemed like she was about to continue, but Joohyun hushed her before she did, fully understanding and needing her to rest and recuperate after what had just happened.   
  


She gingerly smoothed warm, velvet ears flat against the satin pillowcase, “shh, it’s okay, mummy knows, mummy knows. Just don’t do it again, ya…”   
  


“Mm.”   
  


She was about to straighten up and let Seungwan know she’d just be downstairs cleaning up in the kitchen but _not_ making anymore biscuits. Not for a while, at least.   
  


“Ngh, mummy…”   
  


Joohyun turned around to Seungwan’s outstretched fists open-closing in her direction.   
  


She tried so hard not to let her smile grow too wide, but when it came to Seungwan, hiding your true feelings wasn’t really an option. She’d draw it out of you one way or another, and the faster people learnt that, the better it’d be for them.   
  


The vampiress sighed, “you want mummy, too?”   
  


A sure nod.   
  


Joohyun huffed, grinning softly as she made her way over to her puppy burrito, about to get down to some serious cuddle business.


	5. touch.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (not a chapter) but because someone asked about seungwan and joohyun always needing to be touching each other (especially under-fleece scritches).

  * _fluffy, fleecy jumpers are seungwan’s absolute favourite, and coincidentally, joohyun’s favourite to dress her in. so all’s good. there are no disagreements when it comes to getting dressed._
  * _the fleece keeps seungwan warm, but no where near as warm as her mummy does. joohyun has a variety of methods to keep seungwan feeling all bubbly inside._
  * _ear rubs and under-fleece scritches have seungwan belly up and kicking in an instant, squishy like play-doh, tail wagging as she nuzzles further into joohyun’s warm touches._
  * _even if they aren’t doing anything, seungwan needs to feel at least one part of joohyun on her. hand on her lap, fingers in her hair, etc._
  * _if joohyun leaves her for too long, it’s **not** a pretty sight. joohyun has learnt to carry seungwan wherever she goes, and she’s figured out quite well now when to call for the puppy before she hears those initial sniffles._
  * _it was on one of their first vet visits, actually, that the vet brought up his concerns regarding little puppy’s separation anxiety. he noticed it after trying **very hard** to have seungwan sit still while he took a blood sample. _
  * _she was **not** having it. any of it._
  * _it wasn’t the syringe that was the problem, really. i mean yes, the big, bad blood-sucking needle had seungwan’s ears quivering flat against her head, tail curled tightly into her lap. but it was more a case of ‘where’s mummy joohyun to hold wannie’s hand while this evil thing sucks out a gallon of her blood?’._
  * _and if this overgrown galumph of a doctor could get out of the way so she could at least see joohyun, it might’ve made things slightly easier._
  * _all joohyun has to do is wrap an arm around her waist and softly pet her over her woolly jumper. seungwan’s more pacified than a baby with a crib full of reese’s peanut buttercups. it calms her down heaps, and no matter how easy it may be, joohyun isn’t about to take candy from a baby. especially not **this** one._
  * _”shh, shh, it’s okay wannie. you’re alright baby. i’ve got you, look at me. just watch mummy, okay?”_
  * _this isn’t a one-way thing, though._
  * _joohyun’s fast grown to always need to have wannie in view at all times. even better if she can be in within arm’s reach._
  * _it’s become so ingrained that when seungwan isn’t around (say, she’s at school or at seulgi’s for a while), her fingers unconsciously twitch in search of her favourite pair of soft, velvet ears._
  * _“oh you like that, puppy?” ***intensified scritching causes leg thumps to intensify*** “good girl, wannie. you love that, huh.” ***puppy baby talk also intensifies***_
  * **_ultimate scritchy zone : go under the jumper._**
  * _joohyun’s long known this. it was one of the first things she found out about puppy, actually. it’s so easy, too. seungwan just becomes sooo much more pliant once there’s a hand under her fleece. it’d be **criminal** not to make f u l l use of that cute little quirk of hers._
  * _if she’s feeling cheeky, seungwan does her best to act ten times cuter than joohyun’s non-existent heart can handle. she pouts and leaps into her mummy’s lap with wide eyes that beg her to never stop… and perhaps a butter biscuit to go with it?_
  * _joohyun likes to pretend it’s not a big deal, that she can handle it, the puppy-dog-eyes and the little fluffy tail. despite her best efforts at resisting giving in, she she m-e-l-t-s every time it happens._
  * _so in the end they both get what they want. joohyun gets to cuddle her favourite pup, and seungwan, her favourite vampire mum._
  * _… oh and her biscuit, of course._




	6. rating things irene unnie's dumb puppy does in a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> k so hear me out… yeri as a tiktoker. yes, i… i understand if you want to leave. (it’s very wholesome, i’d like to think, save for all the cringe. i’m sorry. pls don’t leave me).

” ** _hey, it’s yerimie! sooo joohyun unnie’s out with seulgi unnie today. hunting or something. so i’m stuck babysitting the pup. let’s see what she gets up to today, and i’ll rate them for you.”_**

**_…_ **

_**1\. playing hide and seek ( 0.5 / 10 ).**   
_

  * _**very bad at this.** very not good. not a good seeker and an even more atrocious hider. would NOT recommend playing this if you actually want to… you know, be able to play._
  * _just have to yell, **‘WHO WANTS A TREAT’** or **‘MUMMY’S HOME’** for some small tail thump hints and excited whining. all muffled, of course. don’t want to give that hiding spot away **too** quickly._
  * _terrible, **terrible** sense of danger. before every game, i tell her to hide like ‘a murderer is after her’. i mean, call me a pessimist but shivering under a blanket isn’t a particularly effective deterrent. especially not in the middle of the living room floor._
  * _she’d be the easiest thing to kidnap. luckily joohyun unnie’s faster and more protective than anyone i know._
  * _half a point for actually knowing she has to Run and Hide.  
_



**_2\. chow time (10000 /10 )._ **

  * _puppy **isn’t** fussy. **very** good girl._
  * _**will** eat anything you put in front of her. with a silly grin on her face as she chows down._
  * _don’t tell joohyun unnie, but i might have given her a few butter tabs too many, but it’s fine! she begged for it! and it’s not my fault… she promised to leave me in peace for another 2 minutes if i did!_
  * _sometimes she needs to be stimulated a little along the way, but that’s okay. i guess she’s used to ear scritches during mealtimes. i think it’s kinda cute._
  * _joohyun unnie says she’s grown out of needing bibs, but i freakin dare her to tell that to my sore back and the kitchen floor. aish._
  * _extra points for big ear flicks when food magically gets stuck in the fluff._



**_3\. entertainment time!! … at my expense ( 9 /10 )._ **

  * _puppy’s on thin fucking ice with this one._
  * _makes me do the most **humiliating** dances, makes me do the most **idiotic** things. and you bet i do them. but only because she looks just as dumb jumping up and giggling as i do ‘dancing’._
  * _okay fine… it’s actually cute as hell. but - but don’t tell her. don’t want her thinking she has the upper hand here._
  * _makes me feel like the stupidest being alive. and then has the nerve to ask for pets and cuddles later on. which… if i give in or not is something i shall choose not to disclose. for personal reasons._
  * _9 out of 10 for the happy yelping and tail wags. knock one point off for my dignity._



**_4\. being a little shyt ( 5 /10 )._ **

  * _if ‘wannie, time for bed’ or ‘homework time, wanwan’ was a look, this’d be it. and it pretty much is, every time i say it, anyway._
  * _puppy’s goddamned lucky she’s still at an age where sleeping is still something to grumble about. literally cannot remember the last time i got a shitty 4 hours, let alone a good 8._
  * _joohyun unnie says the ear trick works if puppy is being extra difficult or grumbly. and let me tell you, it **does.** a few seconds with an ear between your fingers and she’s out like a light. is there someway i can do this with the deer i hunt? sometimes i just want fast food… you know, without the struggling._
  * _and ‘more butter biscuits’ seems like a reliable motivator for finishing her homework. (even if i don’t end up giving her any… i know, i know, she deserves them for merely existing… but we don’t want to overfeed her. joohyun unnie said it didn’t end well last time)._
  * _anyway minus 5 for my **pain and suffering** but plus 5 because it’s easily dealt with._



**_5\. being adorable to get out of being punished for being a little shyt ( – 3491834u13134r034103 / 10 )._ **

  * _negative score only because it works._
  * _**very well.**_
  * _and i hate it._
  * _but i love it._




End file.
